Updated: Jun 16
This might seem irrelevant, but when you start getting to know someone with the expectation of having a relationship, do you ever ask whether they are pro-life or pro-choice? I’ve never bothered to ask a guy, and I don’t remember any instances where a guy asked me either. What about you?
I have encountered several people who choose whether they’re pro-life or pro-choice depending on the situation they find themselves in. Is it that simple, though? Don’t you just choose a side and stick with it?
In the beginning, this may seem like a trivial issue, and a basic answer will be, "If the time comes, I will try to do what’s right." When you find yourself in a situation where you, as a woman, are not ready to be a parent but the man is vehemently against an abortion, where is the middle ground? Some men go as far as to threaten the longevity of the relationship if the woman decides to go through with the abortion. In this instance, there is clearly no middle ground and one person will have to give in to the other's wants or part ways. There are also instances where men are not ready to be parents but women are. They force abortions on the women and threaten single parenting.
I asked an important question to a group of people:
”If you get pregnant while in a committed relationship, will you expect your man to support whatever decision you make or will you make a decision based on what he wants?”
Chiamaka: I will expect him to support my decision because, at the end of the day, it is my body. In the instance where I want to terminate the baby due to financial constraints, if he assures me he is capable of meeting those financial needs, then his input can influence my decision.
Annie: I believe my man will have a say in it, but in the end, I will do what’s best for him, whether he supports me or not. I will respect him enough to involve him in the decision-making, but if what he wants doesn’t align with what I want, I’ll choose his.
Abena: I expect my man to support my decision. Moreover, if it is a committed relationship, we both have an existing understanding of where the relationship is headed and conversations about what to do in case of a pregnancy should have popped up.
The girlies were all ready to stand up for themselves and do what was best for their bodies, whatever that was at that particular moment. Let’s see what the men had to say.
“If your woman gets pregnant, will you listen and support whatever decision she makes, or would you want a say in whether she aborts or keeps it?”
Zeke: Couples don’t like to think about the consequences of raw dogging because they put their orgasm before logic and sense. This is a conversation that needs to be had the instant you decide to have consistent sex. Personally, I will support her decision if she wants to abort it because, in the end, it is her body. A compromise needs to be made in the instance where she wants to keep it and I am not ready to be a father.
Senam: I need to have a say because we need to come to a mutual understanding before a final decision is made.
Nana: Currently, I know I am in no position to have a baby, so I will gladly support her if she wants to have an abortion; I’ll even suggest it to her. What I can’t do is force it on her. If she decides to keep the baby, I’ll step up and support her regardless.
Kwame: I can only have a say after she has decided. I can’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to do. If she wants an abortion, I’ll take her to a clinic myself. If she wants to keep the baby, I will step up and be responsible for the baby.
From all the answers given, it seems like a man’s role in a situation like that is to be supportive.
Yes, you may have created a baby together, but the woman is solely responsible for carrying the baby for 9 months and more in some special cases. What do you think? Whatever decision you decide to make, ensure that it is safe and legal abortion
Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece,
readers should not take actions based on the responses or opinion of the author.