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How to rebuild a good friendship with an Ex







Breakups can be hurtful, it messes with your emotional well being and sometimes your mental wellness, it is not easy getting over someone you trust so much and you can't imagine life without initially. Now that your life does not revolve around them any more there are things you can do to have them close to you as just good friends without any form of intimacy, that is if you really can't picture your life without them around you.


Though some people would close every form of communication once the relationship

ends, while some will ghost for a while to heal before coming back stronger. Irrespective of how we all handle Breakups, I feel there should be a sense of maturity in handling it, it is okay to cry, it is okay to rant to your friends, it's fine to be silent about it, and it is also fine if you don't want to be friends with that person any more, because some people are naturally toxic and having them around you or in your space will only damage you. For those that will appreciate still being good friends with their ex; The best way you can go about it is;


Give yourselves time to heal



This period is for reflection, reflect on what really happened, what you might have done wrong, and those things you did right. You must also give your ex time to ponder on what happened and decide if they want to be friends with you or not. If you miss them, don't rush to message them, give them time, you might just be missing the companionship that your ex provides.


Don't be sad or angry if your ex does not want to be friends with you anymore, go out with friends to ventilate your mind, find a hobby, spend time doing what makes you happy, focus on improving yourself. Do not stalk your ex, do not spam them with I still love you messages.


Give them time to miss you and to reflect on the relationship, if it's worth loosing or working things out or probably just maintaining the friendship lane. Make sure you wait at least three to four months before contacting him/her.


Be willing to forgive whatever wrong that has been done to you and be ready to start friendship on a clean sheet.




After giving time, probably months of not talking or even seeing, message your ex with the intention to make peace, apologizing for whatever you did wrong, at this point, both egos would have gone down, and you both will be ready to talk about what happened on a lighter note, no pressure if one party isn't interested in talking about what happened. For the sake of peace and the friendship you are looking forward to obtain, validate his/her feelings. Talk about your wrongs and right, what you felt you did not

do right and all. Through this conversation you will know if they want the relationship back or just want to maintain friendship or none.


Set clear boundaries



After the conversation and you both have decided to remain friends. The last thing you want to do is fall back into old patterns because you will get the same results. This is a time to try something new – approach the friendship from a different angle. You probably still have residual feelings, so you must tread carefully, if you still want to maintain a friendship with your ex. Limit your conversations and the time you spend together when visiting. Being friends do not necessarily mean you guys have to date again, and fate can actually bring you guys back together but at the same time, your

mind should be opened.

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